Home Owner's Associations want to DNA test your dog's POOP!

I have no words!

Really.  

I just read a friends’ Facebook status update that said his HOA, or Home Owners Association would soon be requiring all dogs living in the neighborhood to submit a DNA sample.  It seems as though Fido will undergo Forensic testing to determine if HE is indeed the one who is pooping in the hood.

Wh What?

Yep, you just read that right.  And so after I snarkily commented that he MUST be making this up I did what every good former journalist would do; I researched this.

Apparently, according to a bazillion and a half Google search returns HOAs across this great country are asking home owners to again fork over some cash for the tests because GAWD knows we have to point our little fingers at someone.  Someone has got to pay for the angst of the rogue excrement.  People must be really frightened of poop.  I fear for this world in which I live.  Poop happens.  Poop is natural.  Yes, we should pick it up but seriously, a freakin’ DNA test sent to a crime lab to see if it matches?

Don’t worry, the homeowner will be footing the bill for the lab results.

Now hons, I do not have enough time in THIS particular blog to go into detail the horrors of living within an HOA so I won’t.  But do you really want to live in a world that is more concerned about wagging their finger at a neighbor about dog poop?  Do you want to live in a world where people are far more concerned over this than the state of our national security?  Oh, yes, the borders are wide open but we got to the bottom of whose dog is pooping and not picking it up!  We know!  We have been empowered with the poopy poopy TRUTH and the truth, well it stinks. Literally!

Truth is, folks, this is happening more places than one.  Take for instance a California HOA who writes to a Condo attorney and asks about their rights to demand doggie DNA to investigate POOP.  *Sigh*, yes, I know, California but the question is as follows:

“Hello, can our HOA board based in California enact a legal mandate to have all Dog Owners submit their Dog’s DNA to create a database to match owners’ dogs to the feces left behind on the communities property?  A simple swipe of the dog’s inner cheek collects the DNA and if a match occurs for the offender, a fine will be imposed.  Seems harmless and an effective deterrent.  Is it legal and can the bylaws be changed to correct this irresponsible behavior that’s unsightly plus the health concerns for the bacteria each feces contains?” (Grimm, Beth, Checking Your Dog’s DNA-Is It in Your Future? Taken from http://condolawguru.com/2012/09/dog-dna-is-it-in-your-future/)

It doesn’t stop at the left coast.  Here’s another instance of POOP police gone bad in Virginia.  I thought the south would have some sense but Nooooooooooooooooo.  Check out the article for yourself, right here. http://www.belch.com/blog/2013/06/13/hoa-in-virginia-to-dna-test-dogs-to-match-poop/

Texas drives friendly but apparently doesn’t feel too friendly about people not picking up their dog’s doodie.  Here’s that example: http://www.khou.com/story/news/2014/07/21/11828928/

I would love to say that I searched and searched to find these stories but I didn’t.  I found them easily and many of them. 

As sad as it is I have to say I’m disgusted that we’ve come to this as a society.  Instead of helping each other out or being a good neighbor, we have now come to crime lab testing our dog’s crap so we can assign blame to the proper person.

Yes, people who walk their dogs in neighborhood common areas should pick up the poop but I think it’s out of this world NUTS that HOAs will require your dog’s doodie to be tested now. I think lawyers are behind this.  I think Pelosi might be too.  I just think it’s sad that we no longer can settle disputes or help each other out and that we’ve resorted to a society that wants to DNA test a dog’s POOP!

 

Poop happens people.  I think all y’all in those ignorant, uppity, unctuous, pretentious HOAs (all y’all is plural for those of you not reared in the south) need a good butt whoopin’.  All of that energy spent on CSI-Community $H!T investigations is wasted on that….uh, waste.

Poop happens.

I bought my daughter a book when she was little with that very title.  Look it up.  It’s a real page turner…at least it was for a four year old.

I hope you’re as disgusted as I was with this new HOA demand!
I think it’s a little……(rhymes with witty) that people have to treat each other like this.

#ThankfultoNOTliveinanHOA

~Anne Boswell Taylor, patriot poopie picker upper and advocate for freedom from HOA oppression